What if the akuma that causes Marc and Nathaniel in that story you made in the Party Crashed thread to get their Miraculous is Marc's parent, angry that someone didn't accept her/their genderfluidity, Hope Morphin, akumatized into Gender Bender! She/They have the ability to reverse peoples gender, which doesn't work on the also genderfluid Marc!
Bringing in a disapproving parent could add some spunk to the story, it is a very real experience for a lot of gay people. As in some movie cynical was said, when some character wanted to shout his comming out from the rooftops: "Fine, no trouble telling it to the world, but tell it to your Mum first and then we will speak again."
But Hope Morphin is NOT a character in the show, she is doing her thing on the internet, so that's fine. Besides bringing her in the show like Thomas Anzuc did with himself is telling the same joke twice for the same audience. And sorry to say, but I am an old fart, who doesn't like the term genderfluidity one bit. Think it's post-modern political correct crap, that packs up the issue in camouflage and wool, avoiding the name what's it really al about.
And that's in my Old-Fart terms, one is gay or straight or like to dine from both tables.
Marc is writing a story in a new notebook, but when Nataniel asks him about, he gets nervous a hides it. almost like the first time they met, which surprices Nathaniel a lot, they have been sharing their drafts now for quite some time. Marc hardly glances at Nathaniel new drafts only murbling that Nathaniel should draw Illustrator better looking then that. Then rushes off.
Marc somehow loosed his draftstory, Rose finds them and hand them to Nataniel in mrs Mendelev class, so he puts them with his other papers before he can get into trouble.
Coming home his father, the Rabbi Kurtzberg, asks Nathaniel if he has finish his Talmud study and Nathaniel hands them over to read, not knowing Marc’s story is mixed up with them.
That evening his father calls him to his study and asks an explanation for the story, he knows and aproves Marc and Nathaniel working on the Ladybug comic, but he now concludes.
“from what I read, this boy is very much in love with you, and I sincerely hope that my only son and last of the Kurtzbergs does not have the mutual feeling. I ask you to break of contact with this boy for the sake of your family.”
Nathaniel does not what to say, making a choice between Marc and his father frustrates him enough to allert Hawkmoth. In in no time an akuma arrives at the Kurtzberg residence, but not before an angry excited Marc arrives, let in by Mrs Kurtzberg, who likes him very much. Marc demands his notebook back, acuses Nathaniel of spying on him and that the story was not ready to be read. Nathaniel angry accuses Marc of claiming he is in love with Marc in front of his father and putting him ashame in front of his family.
Both grap for the notebook at the same time and then the akuma invades it infecting them both.
Hawkmoth cynicly asks who of them he will give his power and they yell:
“Cut the crap, just do it!” For a moment it seems a combined villain like Oblivio will emerge, but the both are so angry that it tears itself in two entititys looking very simular to Evillustrator and Reverser. Both now hold a part (or a copy) of the akumatised notebook, Before Hawkmoth can make his usual demand for the Ladybug and the Cat miraculous the two start throwing powersballs at each other, ruining the house and the neighbourhood.
Hawkmoth tries to control them, but their anger is so strong that he looses control totally.
By the time Ladybug and Chat Noir arrive, Hawkmoth could call in Lila….. she is permanent in a sour mood, so an akuma will find her easily. Could be too complicated, but it also would give a threeway battle, Marc and Nathaniel against each other, Ladybug and ChatNoir against them both And Lila in her latest akumasation against them all but mainly to sabotage the attemps of ChatNoir and Ladybug. Expansion with the use of Rena Rouge, Carpace or Viparion is possible too.
Haven’t make up my mind how the fight will end, but I think both of them worries if they have hurt the other fysically and they too are very much ashamed. I also think that Nino makes the remark that the fight was so intense it also looked like a loversquarrel, hoping he never will to through that himself. And Alya then remarks: “in love with each other and too frightened to admit it…. When have I seen that before?’
Nino: “them in love, but how, they are both boys?"
Ladybug and Alya angry together; SO!!!???” Whereafter Ladybug rather hastely advices the boys to be friends again, like the were from the start.
On which Nathaniel answers;”Like Adrien and Marinette? “ At that moment the miraculous of Ladybug and Chatnoir beeps and they leave the scene before anyone can see them blush.
In the last scene Nathaniel approaches Marc again, asking: you want to talk about what happened?
Marc answers: "Not yet, have stories to finish first, got a bit blocked?"
Nathaniel shows him drawings of Illustrator and a character he did not named yet. “Would this help?”
“But that is you and me…. When did you make those?”
“Some time ago, sorry I kept it a secret. wasn’t ready yet.”
Seems good! "Them in love, but how, they are both boys" sounds a bit more like Bubbler than Nino, and I would have preferred Mr. Kurtzberg to be akumatized, though I do not have a good form. Perhaps, you could think up the form, and I could think up a Hawk Moth monologue. Perhaps the unamed character at the end is the akumatized Mr. Kurtzberg. As for the beginning of the Hawk Moth monologue (prior to akumatization)...
"A father so filled to the brim with hate and malice. The best prey for my evil akumas since Style Queen! Fly, my little akuma and make him even more evil!"
If we go with this, Mr. Kurtsberg should be a strong akuma and get over his homophobia. Other than that, just use better grammar over all, and you've got a story fit for the fan fiction wiki.
Actually when I picked up the idea of a disapproving parent I got the idea of a father who does not disapprove out of homophobia, but more out of social pressure and used the confirmed fact that Nathaniel is Jewish. Hence the rabbi with only one son, who expects his son to follow the trade as he did follow his fathers trade. He doesn't force, he sincerely requests. He does yell or shout or get angry to become an akuma target.
I imagine father and son are very close with Nathanel having a horde of sisters, would there be a brother for Nathaniel the whole problem would not accur.
It's the choice whom to disappoint that brings out Nathaniels frustration. He isn't even sure what his real feelings for Marc are at that moment and he feels to be outed before he has even made up his own mind. I haven't made a study about how homosexuality in combination with rabbinate is accepted in the Jewish community. Think it depends on the kind of community. For the orthodox it is a no go.
I think it's a remark Nino could make, probably never given the issue much thought or did it enter his concept of "cool" There is nothing wicked in it , just stupidity and leave it to Alya to handle that.
It took me a while to realize Mr. Kurtsberg's issue was having Nath's boyfriend be his comic partner, instead of his comic partner being his boyfriend. The only other problem is that it seems like the joint akuma is active at the same time as Lila and one akuma is available at a time so it's either Marcnath or Lila, unless you used an alternate Hawk Moth I would be okay with letting you use. My AU Hawk Moth is exactly the same personality wise, except he doesn't have an civilian identity (but he's still a fashion designer) or a limit on his powers.
There are lots of details to work out, it still just a draft:
one is as you point out: making clear what Mr. Kurtzberg's issue really is.
second is to work out how one akuma can created two supervillains at the same time. In Sapotis it was one akuma that infected the twin sisters of Alya.
Third is to avoid AU characters as much as possible. Rabbi Kurtzberg is in a way one, but we know Nathaniel has a father, but we don't no anything about him not even if he is alive.
I pretend not to create an AU, I pretend to fill in the blanks.
AU characters tend to get a story completely of the track.... have read enough Harry Potter fanfic to know that, tonns of stories with the most horrible Mary Sue'( Gary Stue)s in it.
Basicly that is what Nathaniel is doing: Mary Sueing himself in a comic.
Good writers invest a lot of energy is creating a character, coming up with legio idea's and throwing out 99% of those, where fanfictions mosttime have one idea and go rampart with it.
My problem isn’t that Hawk Moth made a joint Akuma, it’s that he made one, and akumatized Lila minutes after, while the Marcnath Akuma was still fighting. My solution was not to change your Hawk Moth, but to have a second Hawk Moth akumatize Lila. As seen in Timebreaker, two Hawk Moths make two akumas, but only the Hawk Moth in same dimension as both akumatized villians can talk to both. Perhaps my Hawk Moth senses Hawk Moth Prime’s frustration, so sends out an akuma for Hawk Moth to fight against his own rebellious Akuma with.
I think we don't need a second Hawkmoth for making akumazing Lila minutes after Marcnath goes out of control. In Timebreaker I thought there was only one Hawkmoth confronted with the product of his work he created some minutes before he started the actual akumatisation of Alix. But the problem is more or less finding a legimate reason for bringing in Lila in the story first place. She needs a little screentime to make it clear she is back in class again.
When she is in class she sits at the backbench next to Nathalien ( who never seemed to be that happy about it).
This however ( lightbulb!) could be a moment for her to muddy the waters.
Nathaniel is drawing as usual, Lila tries to peek in, which Nath does not allow. She however sees a small part of the drawing before Nath covers it. She then says:
Lila: "Marc is writing the stories isn't he?. Ooh he is so good. I almost ever need to make any corrections when I prove read them."
Nath: "He never told me he let you read them before we do it together."
Lila: "Oh not all the time, I am far too busy for that. but maybe this time because he wants to surprise you with a new character."
Nath: "He made a new character?"
Lila: "Did he not tell you, one with a new love interest?
Nath: "In love with whom, Ladybug? The Illustrator will not like it?"
Lila: "Oh, no! Marc has better taste then that, I think it is with the Illustrator himself."
(dialogue ends here for wathever reason)
I think this scene could come between the first where Marc and Nath are talking and before Nath goes home with Marc's notebook. Lila's interest is damaging the cooperation between Marc and Nathaniel, because she hates the attention their Ladybug comic gets.
btw, I liked your Hawkmoth "I haven't named you yet!"
But I did come up with a name for the villain he wants to create; what about:
But what about the powers bestoved? the anger is about denying each others feelings and there own feelings at the same time. Powers used before were reversing and creating objects by drawing.... What about the power to created idols on which people reverse their feelings to they have for real people? Those idols would be nothing more them moving cardboard cutouts ( like the one Wayhem carried along in Gorilliaz), but they are very limited and would be become more and more demanding. The victim can no longer express ( positive) feelings for the real person, but withers away in front of the cardboard idol ( oh this sounds rather Byronesk)
Lets try out what that would looks like with for instance with Theo Bardot and Mireille Caquet, they are shown as couple in some episode. They are sitting on a bench and Theo gets hit at that moment a cardboard image of Mireille appears. Theo starts getting nasty at the real Mireille who runs away weeping and starts idolising the cardbord figure…. did you ever see those cardboard dolls with moving limbs on a string? well no more sofisticated then thos is my idea. Those cardboard idols however obey the orders the villain AMORAMOK gives and that stays so when AMORAMOK splits up in two villains who start throwing their cardboard army at eachother. The longer it stays this way, the more the victims wither and turn themself into cardboards.
(would be an interesting experiment when Chloe gets victimised, would she fall for a cardboard idol of herself or would she fall for a cardboard Mr.Cuddle?)
quote: Akumatization is a very helpful superpower, but the Butterfly Miraculous holder can only make one akuma at a time, the only time there are multiple being when the akuma duplicates or when it gets an upgrade, like in “Catalyst”, when Hawk Moth uses Catalyst's powers to boost his own.
This would mean that we would have to use Catalyst again. Problem with that is that the story would become a part of a cunning plan by Hawkmoth, 1st Catalyst, 2nd Purple Moth, 3th Amoramok 4th Volpina….. way way to complicated. Never intended a greater plan for this episode. Better skip the akumatization of Lila completely or use amokazation by Mayura in this, which is still a rather poorly understood superpower and very hard to use canon comfort.
That is my trouble with Second Hawkmoth too, where is the reason for him to appear. Only to enable a secomd akuma at the same time? That is the wrong reason, that should be the effect of his appearance. I think it needs more to create an OC in the story.
I prefer to let Lila play no greater role then planting the seeds of doubt.
It actually was two Hawk Moths in Timebreaker. One in the old timeline who akumatized the first Timebreaker and the one in the new timeline who akumatized the second Timebreaker. However, I'm glad you're not using my Hawk Moth, because it would be kind of silly to have Hawk Moth sense emotions through dimentions.
And wow, that's a way better villian idea then I had. I had Evillustrator EX and Reverser EX. The exact same as their normal forms, but with different colors, and slightly stronger. The fight music was "Killing Two Birds" from A Hat In Time.
Also, maybe have a running gag where Amoramok repeatedly tells Hawk Moth off.
I surely want to use Amoramok telling Hawk Moth off. I even think about them sending Hawkmoth a cardboard idol, would not be the first time Gabriel almost became a victim himself by the hand of his victim (SimonSays). For Amoramok it's just an attemp to break the annoying contact and when Hawkmoth is kept busy be aggressive towards Emilie in her coffin ( don't think the coffin and the lair are very far from eachother) his power gets soaked up by the Emilie-puppet-on-a- string as his nearest object of devotion, they can concentrated oon beating the living daylights out of each other. He is now actually depending of a victory by Ladybug and ChatNoir. Would that be a nice twist?
In the meantime Ladybug gets a cardboard idol. She gets foul mouthed against Chatnoir as he was the real Adrien and cannot concentrate on the fight, because she starts worshipping the stringpuppet. The spell is only broken when a very confused ChatNoir destroys the stringpuppet with Cataclysm….he heard Ladybug say things he never would expect to hear. It is maybe high time he realises Ladybug loves Adrien, but that does not include a connection between Ladybug and Marinette for him. Could even bitterly complain against Plagg about it when he needs to recharge.
The character of the fight bugs me a bit. Amoramok is a double creature ( like Oblivio), but it is only one creature when it is attacked, the moment it's on it's own it splits in two creatures that fight each other and of equal strenght none of the halves can really win. The inner division could be so strong, that when one of the parts gets the upper hand it divide against itself creating two new fighting parts…. there is only so much energy and power stored in Amoramok, that this power gets divided too among the new parts. At one stage you have a swarm of angry little butterflies left alone fighting each other, but when someone attacks a part, like sweeping it with ChatNoirs staff, it reclusters.
I think the LuckyCharm should be a pair of scissors and when focusing Ladybug sees Carapace's shield turned polkadotted. She then orders all to leave the Amoramok cloud alone and even protect it with Carapace shield, till nothing more substantial exsist then the infected notebook. She then commands to remove the shield and throws the open mouthed scissor with her yo-yo in the cloud cutting the notebook in two halves and the akuma is released.
what would Amoramok look like?
Not as a little cupid, but more like a demon.
first it has four Wings, from which it shoots feathers like arrows ( like Archangel in X-men)
Its feet look like eagleclaws, its hands like lionclaws, around its ankles it wears rattling bells looking a bit like skulls. The skin colour is deepblue, with a pectoral also looking like a fanged skull. Its face is covered with a mask which looks like a flayed skin, in stead of hair it has rows of red cockcombs. It also wears large disk-like earplugs.
This is all more or less a mix between the Assyrian demon Pazuzu and the Aztec god of love and flowers Xochipilli It used the akumatized notebook as a weapon of enchantment, when clapping it shut it shoots plugs of papers, that when hit creates the cardboard idols.
I never liked the crotchless open skirt we saw in "the Pharaoh" so its skirt/kilt should be closed with a very heavy belt. Google "Cacaxtla Murals"and you see what I have in mind.
Marinette is late because she forgets time while reading the last issue of Ladybug Comic over and over again. It contains the story that a rival of Agreste, the fashion designer Gerald Goldfish is akumatized in to the villain LoanShark. And he has abducted Adrien, Chloe and Marinette holding them ransom in a fishtank, because they are transformed into small merman and maids. Like goldfish they have to stay under water because they have gills at their ribcase and cannot breath outside water.. Adrien has a tail with black scale and green fringes, Marinette a red tail with black and Chloe a yellowgold tail with black. The girls have long wavy hair that discretely covers their boobs, so they don’t wear bra’s. Ladybug, Chatnoir and Illustrator save them.
Marinette realises she is late and panicks, she had taking the printing business on her schoulders and had forgotten to reorder new prints because she ordered not enough copies for the whole school. She also took care of the mailing list for absentees, among which Lila looms high on the list.
Students enter the school and are seen reading the latest issue of Ladybug Comic. the focus zooms in on Marc, who is writing at his spot under the stairs.
Nathaniel arrives, looking a bit worried in his notebook, then spots Marc, puts his notebook in his bag and Marc greets him with a blesssed smile. Nath asks likewise smiling if Marc is already working on the new issue, while they have just published the latest yesterday. Puts a hand on Marc’s shoulder trying to read in what Marc is writing in a complete new notebook, it hase the same shape and color as Nathaniel’s notebook. Marc however becomes skittish, pulls away, closes the book, claims he got writersblock, claims he is not ready yet and runs to classe. It leaves Nathaniel complete bewildered.
Nathaniel takes his usual place behind Ivan and start doodling as he usual does. In the meantime Lila is entering the class and is welcomed back by miss Bustier. Lila tells her she had made a special effort to convince her parents to break off their diplomatic mission to the Republic of Unobtainia, so she would be in time for the release of the latest Ladybug Comic.
Miss Bustier raises her eyebrow in question: “Unobtainia? Did I ever hear of that?”
“I did, miss Bustier!”Marinette calls out. “Republic of Unobtainia, capital city is Mendacium, named after the great libarator Mendies Mendax. Am I right, Lila?” With a beaming smile Lila admits Marinette got it right this time and climbs up to the toprow. Adrien turns to Marinette scolding her mildly: “Marinette I know my Latin, you made that up.””So did she.””I just wonder how you did that.””Translate app.” Nathaniel has noticed nothing of this and is not that pleased to see Lila taking place next to him especially when she tries to peek in on his drawing. She tells him how wonderfull his work and that of Marc is and that Marc’s writing is so good, that he hardly needed grammar correction the last time she did the proofreading. Nath is completely surpriced Marc let someone else read his work before him because till now in ever stage they exchanged drafts and idea’s except this morning. Lila answeres that is maybe because Marc wanted to surprise him with a new character she suggested to Marc. She misdirect further question by asking a copy of the latest release she missed. Nath tells her that he is out of copies, but he think Marc has still a few stacked in his locker. Lila notices Nathaniel has the same color notebook in his bag as she saw Marc having with hem when passing by. She steals it.
I am up to a scene right now where Nathaniel and Marc get akumatized, but to stay in line with the episodes I need some more inspiration for Marinette trouble. The frame for the stories are almost always that Marinette has to face a problem and before solving it she gets sidetracked by het Ladybug business , at the end she mostly solves her problem by the experience she got from her Ladybug playtime.