Talk:Tom Dupain/@comment-36704378-20190114165317

André: Well, Tom, I made it- despite your directions.

Tom: Ah. Mayor Bourgeois. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

André: Yeah.

Tom: Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, Tom.

Singers: Ah- Skinner with his crazy explanations The superintendent's gonna need his medication When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight!

André: TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom: Mayor, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?

André: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?

Tom: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams.

Tom: Whew. Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers.

André: I thought we were having steamed clams.

Tom: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.

André: You call hamburgers steamed hams?

Tom: Yes. It's a regional dialect.

André: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?

Tom: Uh, upstate New York.

André: Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."

Tom: Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression

André: I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Candeloro Burger.

Tom: Oh, no. Patentened Tom burgers. Old family recipe.

André For steamed hams.

Tom: Yes.

André: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

Tom: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.

André: Of course.

Tom: Oh well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.

André: Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there?

Tom: Aurora borealis.

André: Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen?

Tom: Yes.

André: May I see it?

Tom: No.

Sabine: Tom! The house is on fire!

Tom: No, Sabine. It's just the northern lights.

André: Well, Tom, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.

Sabine: 'HELP! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!'